Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Randomize
