then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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