Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
