I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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