i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
