She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Randomize
