i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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