He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I love you. Go after that dick
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
