Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
farters have to be the big spoon...
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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