try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
