You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize