Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
He felt like a one man threesome
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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