maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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