i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
PANTIES FOUND
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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