Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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