We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
