That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
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