Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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