We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize