Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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