party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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