remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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