Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Well I just put wine in my tea
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
