you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
