false alarm. still invincible.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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