I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
