I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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