Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
