I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize