My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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