Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
