There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
