I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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