I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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