jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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