threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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