Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Someone signed my nipple.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize