I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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