He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Come on in and take your pants off
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