my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
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