Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Is Oprah even human
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
