Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
