He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
