Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
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did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
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Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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