God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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