How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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