i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
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You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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