Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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