I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
