Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
