Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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