well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
