We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
