Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize