Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
it's great music for shaving your balls
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize