There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
