tell your sister to shave her snatch
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
