woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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