I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
