I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
