If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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