so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
