next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
