D3 body, D1 cock
I think im going to throw up on grandma
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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