I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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