So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
