i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
