I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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